Well, I mean it’s less weird to write “golf ball-sized hail” bcause it’s a rather common way to describe the size of hail. Energy drink cans are cylindrical, so it doesn’t make immediate sense in anyone’s brain in the sentence as a comparison. I’m guessing the author couldn’t think of a common enough spherical item of the right size to compare with. Still, I think hyphens would have immediately fixed the strangeness, like the person below you commented.
The first line took a while to read. First try I got what could be written as:
“Sizes of energy drink can pelts, we salute you”
I mean “drink can pelts” is a weird way to say aluminum
“energy-drink-can-sized hail…” is how I would have written it. Or, y’know, used numbers like a sane person.
Well, I mean it’s less weird to write “golf ball-sized hail” bcause it’s a rather common way to describe the size of hail. Energy drink cans are cylindrical, so it doesn’t make immediate sense in anyone’s brain in the sentence as a comparison. I’m guessing the author couldn’t think of a common enough spherical item of the right size to compare with. Still, I think hyphens would have immediately fixed the strangeness, like the person below you commented.
Or commas, and better grammar, would have done wonders, too.
“Hail, the size of energy drink can[s], pelt[ed] Texas […]”
Sports equipment and fruit are the common comparison for spherical objects.
“Grape sized hail” is quick and easy. “Softball sized” gives the proper “holy shit that’s huge” reaction.
I like the spherical references. I don’t know why he wouldn’t stick with balls.